Are all these hats really necessary? I’m not their maid, not their mat, not their martyr, not their master. M is for Mom. Ironically, M is also for Monday and being a Mom on Monday is especially hard. You know it’s true! Today was particularly hard because it was the first day back-to-school after Winter Break. It’s the first Monday of the New Year.
Moms have the best plans for making Mondays a success, and when it all goes wrong, it can be really hard to face the rest of the week. This morning my mom-heart was already racing before we got out the door. It was the same chaos of many school mornings, even though I have vowed that things would be different after the break. I failed. Antonio was late for school. Since the triplets were born, the morning routine has always been a challenge. I’ve implemented so many things to make school mornings go more smoothly, but Antonio is still the most difficult to manage in the mornings.
Today, I had a moment of absolute clarity. Actually, it’s a recurring thought, but this time I’m going to follow through! It’s not my job to get him up in the morning, make sure he gets himself dressed, eats, remembers his backpack, lunch ID, and a jacket. I’m his mom, not his snooze button, personal chef, concierge, waitress, personal assistant, or driver. He is 16 years old and getting him to school on time should be the least of my worries on a Monday morning! There is no reason for me to wear any of those hats. The deal is, that he is supposed to get himself up, ready, and off to school, on time. If his dad or I can take him, feel like taking him, than that’s a bonus. Regardless, he should be ready to go without me having to take on the wicked-witch role. I’m not his wicked-witch. M is for Mom!
He has four younger siblings who all need support from mom in the morning, just like he did at their ages. He’s not their age anymore! He’s almost an adult. Especially now, one of the most important things I can do for him, is to do less for him. I shouldn’t be taking responsibility for his irresponsibility.
So, one of my mom goals this year is to raise my expectations, of all of my children. I’m going to give them all a little more age-appropriate responsibility and take off some of these excess hats. The whole morning issue with Antonio has been going on for a while and I usually cave in and drive him to school when he’s late. Basically, I coddle him and enable him to consider his morning responsibilities as optional.
I love him so much. I hated when he stopped calling me “mommy” regularly and started shortening it to just, “mom.” He’s growing up, and it’s time for me to let him. I get caught up in the emotion of that mommy phrase, “he’ll always be my baby,” but he’s not a baby, anymore.
As my first major parenting act of 2016, I bid a fond farewell to my metaphorical morning hat collection, and lovingly hand them over to Antonio.
What mom hat can you hand over? I’d love to know. Please share in the comments and if you liked this post — sharing is caring! ALSO – caption this photo in the comments and I’ll reveal my favorite five on Friday.
By: Alicia Gonzalez