Frizzy Hair

10.  They don’t need a second job to afford the necessary quantity of conditioner and product required simply to get the brush through their mane.

Most days I use a 1/2 bottle of inexpensive conditioner after washing my hair just to be able to get the brush through it.  This seems unbelievable to Pretty Girls with Pretty Hair. Well – Duh! You have pretty hair!


9.  They can experience the tender moment of someone running their fingers through their hair.

Stuck in a Frizzy Funk girls DREAD this moment! We pray that it won’t happen, while hating those pretty-haired-girls for taking such a simple pleasure for granted.

8.  They look cool when they do the mad-girl hair-flip.

We look something like a scene out of The Exorcist.  Our head flips and our hair holds steady like a birds’ nest trapped on a tree branch.

7.  Strangers do NOT walk up to girls with pretty hair and offer the number of a hairdresser that could fix “that” for them.

The first time this happened, my naive and frizzy brain thought it was a sweet gesture. Over the years, as it continued to happen, I learned to stay far away from girls with pretty hair while at the grocery store. But I was always under their radar.  They would find me.  Then, they would find one crinkled up business card at the bottom of their purse with the name of their FABULOUS hairdresser who always works miracles. WHAT?! Now, I need a miracle? Okay. Maybe so. Regardless, I don’t want to get the news from a girl with pretty hair.

6.  Girls with pretty hair are liars! They talk about how unmanageable their hair is and how long it takes them to fix it. Puhhhhhleeeeaaaassse!

I have to flat iron my hair just to throw it in a ponytail.  After 20 minutes of being at war with the brush and pulling out 8 ounces of frizzy strands of hair during the debacle, it then takes me one hour to iron it out.  All this, just to sport a ponytail.

5. Girls with pretty hair smell like fruits, cucumbers, and flowery fragrances.

Once my hair is ready to be seen out in public, it smells burned-to-ashes as if it had literally been to hell and back, combined with the cover-up smell of too much fragrant infused oil.

4. Girls with pretty hair have friends with pretty hair. They multiply.

It’s bad enough when you want to hide your head in shame in the presence of one girl with pretty hair. When surrounded by them, there is nowhere to hide!

3. Girls with pretty hair can dance in the rain.

I turn into the Wicked Witch of the West in the rain. Okay. That’s not entirely true. All of a sudden, I look like her. My hair does not melt away, although I wish the rest of me could. My hair turns into one of those grow-in-water toys that can grow to 600 times its size.

2. Girls with pretty hair look even prettier when their hair air-dries.

My hair looks like the NEST you see in the picture I included with this post. Yep. That is actually MY hair, after I let it air dry.

1. Girls with pretty hair ROCK Summer.

While all the girls with pretty hair will use any excuse to go to the beach, I’ll use any excuse not to. They can have that sexy climbing-out-of-the-ocean snapshot without risking turning into a pumpkin within the next 60 minutes.  Their hair still looks fabulous whether or not they are sweating like a pig in the scorching heat of Summer. Their hair gets natural highlights in the Summer.  My hair begins to break off at the ends in the Summer.

By:  Alicia Gonzalez